I am going to miss these vacation days wherein I have been free to meander through my home and putter around putting things in their place and organizing shelves. My husband took all the same days off work though we did not need them for travel and we have been able to take care of some critical issues in the house (secure the crawl space to keep critters out, repair the wall behind the washer from the last pipe repair, replace the gas tube that runs to the stove – probably compromised due to moving stove in and out to watch traps). In addition, I have been free to feed my soul.
Because there have been no agendas, no plans, no social obligations, no EXPECTATIONS, I have also been free to write, read, reflect, meditate, sing, dance and simply BE. I have found a gentle, loving and patient wife and mother in myself. I purposefully chose these days to be my first days of abstinence and I chose wisely. It is my hope that my life will now consist of many other wise choices. Of course, even sober people make poor choices, but perhaps not as many. And so, as I enjoy these last quiet moments before the rest of the house awakes, I am reminded that I am enough. Everything I need is within me.
I go back tomorrow to semester two with the largest class sizes I have ever had in 16 years of teaching. I go back to some of the most cluelessly disrespectful kids I have ever met. I go back to the grind of being in the classroom when I am so ready for new experiences in leadership. I go back to a hectic schedule with responsibilities and deadlines.
I am not worried that I will be able to keep up my new habits as I feel phenomenal and have absolutely no desire for a drink whatsoever, but I know that living a busy and stressful life crowds out time I need to spend on self-care. By my calculations though, I should still have plenty of time to take care of myself, even with tutoring and therapy for my boys and evening rehearsals for the musical I am directing. I will simply replace time spent destroying myself with things that will nourish me.
Some things I enjoyed doing over the last five days that I may or may not have once endured, resented or omitted because time was short or I was irritable:
- brewing iced tea
- lighting candles & incense
- filling the diffusers
- vacuuming (full disclosure; I got a robot vacuum for Christmas)
- grocery shopping (more disclosure; new service in my area – shop online & pick up curbside! I know – I may never set foot in a grocery store again!)
- cleaning the kitchen counters
- washing the dishes; teaching the boys to put them away properly
- organizing clothing in my closet
- planning a DIY shelving project for my new “study,” a room I have claimed as my own in a centrally located part of the home & not some out of the way closet
- talking to service personnel about jobs for hire
- collecting holiday decor to pack away
- making strawberry/blueberry milkshakes
- folding the laundry and ensuring the boys put it away
- soaking & cooking black eyed peas
- washing my face
- taking my evening Buspar
- eating until full
- noticing my breath
- eating ice cream
- stretching my body
- hugging my husband
- going to sleep at night
- waking up refreshed
- feeling upset and knowing I can trust my feelings because they are mine
Here’s to an amazing 2017! May you do what makes your heart sing. And remember every note.
Cheers, blessings and Happy New Year!